when i blinked you were gone.

i got my new phone today. which means that your name isn't presently here anymore. which means i have very little to remember you by everywhere i go. i cried. i broke down to my mom on my way to the place where i had to drop off my old phone and get my new one. i asked the man who was helping me if there was anyway he could transfer my old texts to my new phone and he rudely said no. i was about to tell him that i didn't want the new phone. i was about to run out of that fucking place and just keep it broken, like it was. i was about to just report it missing and pay $100 to get a new one. i needed those texts. i read them and read them all day today, trying to cram as much as i could in the little suitcase that is my brain. it's a fucking cell phone. why was i in tears over a cell phone? i guess everything in life really is connected and i guess this is what letting go of everything feels like. exactly a year tomorrow is the day you told me you were in love with someone else and not me. and today i was forced to get rid of the one thing that i was binded to you with. i didn't want to lose those texts. i guess this is life telling me that a year is long enough.