it's not a case of doing what's right, it's just the way i feel that matters. tell me i'm wrong, i don't really care.

i did it again and i forgot how amazing it feels. i'm actually typing this with my eyes closed now because i can still feel the soothing sensation of it. how everything seems to stop for a moment. how it feels like time stops for a few seconds. my heart has wings and its wings keep fluttering right now. i can breathe without difficulty and everything stops spinning. it's my vicodin. it's my marijuana. it's whatever drug is out there, that's what this is. i forgot how good it felt. i missed this sensation of euphoria, which really is a contradiction but i don't care. even my fingers are numb. i can breathe. i'm okay now.