is it ever gonna be enough?

manzanita's version of tough love.

manzanita: you're a ticking time bomb. i was going to tell you the last time we spoke on the phone because it was scary listening to you. you're about to blow up and you're not doing anything to prevent it but suppress feelings. you need to stop this cycle you are in. you are, emotionally, the unhealthiest person i know because you don't do anything about it. you let it sit there and continue its course. eventually feelings rot. they become putrid and this is what's happening. all these feelings you've suppressed are out to get you and they are going to come bite you in the ass. you're a fucking ticking time bomb. you need to put people in their place. you need to let them know when they've been unkind or unfair or fucked up or douches or assholes or cunts. you're letting it build up and i can hear it in your voice. the same way you talk passionately about things, about people, about music, it's the same way but opposite. there's a desperation in your voice and in the things you write. it's scary, aidee. it's also scary how things are affecting you these days. you're exhausted, i would be too, but i would have done something about it ages ago. i know you won't. you're gonna go crazy. write about things but deal with them too. this shit about you wanting to sleep feelings away doesn't help. you've let things go on for far too long, it's time you put an end to them. and aidee, come on with these girls. all of them. every single one of them. it's not going anywhere.


why can't things be easier. i just can't catch a fucking break.