are you lost without your lamb?

i've only had one girl in my bed and house in my 24 years of life. and the one i had wanted here for the longest time, never happened. m love has been the only girl that's been in my house, in my bed, who has spent the night. she's seen my bathroom, my kitchen, my brothers' room, my mom's room, my living room, my backyard. she's seen my room clean and she's seen it dirty. i don't let just anyone into my house. which is one of the reasons she's been the only one. i have the house to myself tonight and april is coming over to spend it with me. i'm a little nervous. not because of sex or anything, but because she's someone different. and m love's shoes are still here. and it's just... different. i'm washing my blankets and sheets and pillowcases in case they still smell like someone else. with m love it happened so often that i don't even remember how i was feeling the first time she came over. i'm assuming it was something like this. i'm just a little nervous that she's gonna see my room and smell where i sleep. fuck. i feel like a stupid kid. nervous but excited.

my room right now.