monica.

fuck. monica, this isn't good, for either of us but fuuuuuuck, i've enjoyed your company these past four months. we said we were gonna stop and it didn't work out but i'm scared. i'm scared that feelings are gonna develop...with either of us. i know you're seeing someone else but i fucking love that i'm priority even when you say i'm not. you wouldn't come over at four in the morning if i weren't. and i'm not saying i'm priority in everything but when it comes to this other girl, i know i come first. it could be familiarity or whatever, it doesn't matter. i like being important to you. because it's not just sex, it's a friendship. a real friendship, almost a relationship without a label. i know that one day you're gonna be fed up with my shit and be fed up that i am not willing to give you a relationship and i'm trying to prepare myself mentally for it but it's bullshit, you can't prepare for this shit. and i know it's gonna come soon and unexpectedly but it's okay. i know one of these days you're gonna tell me you're in a relationship with this girl and i will understand. i know she's great from what you've told me so far. i miss you today. eventhough i saw you this morning.