bound to trip.

it's a very scary thing, the power some people hold over you. one word can completely destroy you. one word can completely make you. see, after shit's gone down you have to start from scratch pretty much, but you can't really start completely from scratch there's always something lingering that isn't new, but you have to try to start off fresh. i think i died. i do. i think i'm almost ready to be born again. like i'm in my mother's womb. and i think in these past few months i've built a very shakey, very unsteady foundation that as the days go on it slowly starts getting stronger. however, this is still a shakey, unsteady foundation which means that at any moment, something can blow at it and destroy it. and it's very scary how easily that can be done. anything said, anything not said has some effect on me. it could be negative or it could be positive. it's not as strong as it was before but it's there and i'm scared shitless about it. i want to be born again. and if my shit doesn't stop it'll be a miscarriage and i can't have that. blah blah blah. i lost what i was gonna fucking write. i can't sleep these days either and it's making me go insane. fuck.