i've been looking for answers, i've been shouting out names.

i often wonder why some people are interested in who i am. not in a romantic way necessarily, just interested. my best friend is the most amazing, intelligent, funny person i've ever met. i wonder what it is about me that he's stuck around for ten years. there is nothing special about me. i am not funny in an appealing way. i am nowhere near as intelligent as he is. he writes these beautiful semi fiction/semi non fiction stories that will make many have goosebumps and he draws like an artist. you see him and you instantly are intrigued. the things that come out of his mouth, the things he writes, the way he looks, everything is interesting. and then there's me. i know i'm a good friend, i may not be good at anything but being a friend is something i know i am. but i am surrounded by all these amazingly talented people. and i have nothing. this does also go to some of those girls that have been a bit interested in me who are fascinating human beings. i will never understand how someone like joann, with a child, with a near death experience, intelligent, beautiful, could ever be interested in me. i'll never understand how someone who looks like zooey deschanel could even speak to me, let alone be interested in me, even if it was very little and for a very short time. but i'll never understand why someone with that wit and that sarcasm and with that beauty and intelligence could ever find me appealing when there is absolutely nothing special about me. i have no talent, i am not blessed with good looks, and i'm not the most intelligent either. so i don't get it. and i ain't gonna lie or brag, but the girls i date are fucking amazing. they are beautiful and intelligent, which is why i wonder such things. same goes with my close friends. i am glad to be surrounded by amazing people, especially omar. but i do wonder how people could possibly find me interesting when i have so little to offer.