we lived an adventure, a love in the summer. (for us, it was autumn)

"this is such a healthy relationship. it's sucks she has to leave." -omar

i have to keep these conversations somewhere because my memory fails at times.

apes: you're in so much trouble?
aidee: why?
apes: i was walking around in shorts today because our house gets really hot and my friend gives me this fucking look, you'd think this girl saw a ghost, then she squints and i'm still thinking what the hell is going on. she then points at my leg and starts laughing.
aidee: hahahahahaha! was it a bite mark?!
apes: yes! you knew?!
aidee: apes, how the hell did you think it wasn't gonna bruise?! how short were those shorts anyway?!
apes: first of all, i didn't think about the bruising. second of all, that was the most embarrassing thing that's happened to me while being down here. and third, you know i only wear short shorts, baby.
aidee: oh. this is the best thing ever. i wanna see such shorts on you.
apes: you suck.
aidee: no, apes, i bite! hahaha

apes: did you kiss a stripper? did you get a lap dance?!
aidee: no! no!
apes: you're such a liar!
aidee: i didn't! one of the strippers kissed me but i didn't open my mouth and i moved away. she spread her legs for me and her vagina was right in my face. but i looked away and to her face instead, it's rude to stare.
apes: she's a stripper! her job is for you to look at her!
aidee: oh, yeah. but still.
apes: i don't know what to say to you sometimes.

apes: did you know i love your lips?
aidee: i think you're just trying to get me in my pants.
apes: trying?

and this is it. i sit here, crying because i miss you already. because i know that this was most likely the last time i see you. it feels like a part of me is missing in a way. i will be okay, i am okay, but i'm missing you right this instant. you've changed something in me. it's almost as if you pulled a trigger, i'm just not sure to what yet. i wish i had these last few weeks recorded so i could replay them over and over. it's such a strange feeling. it hurts in a different way. in a way that i know that shit's gonna be okay. it's just the missing that has consumed me already. you looked beautiful every day that i saw you. in the day and in the night. we had seven weeks of endless wine and drunk nights together filled with nothing but laughs and smiles and kisses and hugs. my life is getting duller by the second. i got used to something amazing too quickly, it's gonna take some time getting used to not hearing your voice every day. i have that image of you walking away embedded in my mind. it's making me cold. thank you for allowing me to go with you to the airport. i hope life treats you amazing, my love.

"le matin je serai sobre mais vous serez toujours beaux." - the dreamers

i'll never forget that you spent your last hours in california and tijuana in my arms. i hope you never do either.