can i not wake up? is this a dream that will turn into a horrid nightmare next week when you're gone? because i've had the best month and a half and it will all end in less than a week. and thinking about it makes me miss you. am i going to have to think about real things now? my life is about to become extremely boring and shitty. i don't want you to leave. i'm gonna miss your sleepy voice in the morning. and the lingering warmth of the sheets when you get up. and you sneaking your hands inside the pocket of my hoodie. i'm gonna miss the butt to crotch jokes you always make. and you playing with my ears. i guess the list of things i'm gonna miss is endless, so i'll just say i'm going to miss you. all of you. every single thing about you. starting with your patience and your interest to your wine and foreign language fascination. just, everything. my life is better because of you and i will never be able to show my gratitude for what you changed in me. i love you, i'm not in love, but i do love you. i really wish you weren't leaving. i'm a little scared about how life is gonna be when you're gone. next weeks is gonna suck.
i'm really gonna miss you, my half french, one fourth german, and one fourth mexican manzanita.
i love your long shadows and your gunpowder eyes.
aidee: you know my sheets smell like you, right?
april: of course. i make sure to smell them every time i spend the night to make sure they don't smell like anyone else.
aidee: and i'm the creepy one?!
april: can i ask you something?
aidee: yes.
april: are you holding back? be honest.
aidee: yes.
april: me too.
i can't write. this is kind of a good thing.
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