i can't let it out, i still let you in.

May 2, 2010.

why do i find myself missing you so much?! it’s frustrating. i hate missing coz i’m never the one being missed. i find myself reading old conversations we had and it feels like a punch to the face, why can’t we turn back time once in our lives? i miss you, i miss our conversations, how you would write a lyric and i would write the next line and then you wrote the next and so on. i miss your voice. i miss your laugh. i miss your stories. i find myself crying over something that was never there to being with. i hate being in love with you, because with you i actually felt my feelings being corresponded even if it was for a second. when you texted me that night at 3am saying how i had been on your mind all day and how you had these feelings, i actually thought there was gonna be something else other than this friendship, that i do cherish. i want to see you, even if from far away, even if it’s from outside your work, i wanna see you, i want to see you move and i want to see you smile. you’re all that matters to me these days. i can’t let you out, i’m having such difficulty dealing with this. all i ask is for a single minute of not having you wandering around my mind. well, i guess all i ask is for me to be yours but that’s not gonna happen, so i ask for you to get out of my head, completely, but don’t ever stop talking to me, that will kill me. heart ache sucks.. basic space will forever be the song that reminds me of my heart being broken by you..