2010.

december 21, 2010.

i’m not really going to complain about you eventhough you weren’t necessarily very kind and if your intention was to make me cry, then you succeeded admirably. but i won’t complain any longer because amongst all the tears and all those endless, sleepless nights, i had some good times as well. i met some wonderful, beautiful people and just that alone, is worth all those shitty fucking nights you decided to fuck me over for whatever fucking reason. this really is about all the crying i’m going to be doing for the next eleven days. yes, crying. curled up in fetal position in a corner of my bed, crying. i’ve kept myself from crying for about a month now and right now, on the verge of tears, i will cry. why? because i fucking deserve a good cry after all this heart ache that started in february and hasn’t stopped to this day. i’m gonna wash away whatever sadness i have with tears and i’m going to rid you from my life. i’m crying you out. i refuse to cry about you next year, so i’m crying you out now. i’m ridding you from my system and not looking back. i have to. because i cannot be sad about the same thing in the new year. it will consume me and it will kill me. i’m crying you out today, tomorrow and every day until the clock hits 12 on new years eve. that day, that minute and the seconds that pass after that, the ticking of the clock, i will cry but i will not cry of sadness, i will cry of joy that you are finally over. that i can and will have a fresh start.