be comfortable, creature.

a summer for mended hearts for all. i am no longer hiding from the sun. i will let the rays hit my back and feed my skin with vitamin D. and finally watch as girls in sunglasses have their sundresses waltz wildly with the wind while i just sit back and smile. these are the days when it'll be too hot for me to straighten my hair so i will let it flow freely. days when i will stroke it back with my hand so it's out of my face. days when you'll always see me squinting, even with sunglasses. when i will get wrinkles on my eyes from all the laughing and smiling i did in the sun. i'll finally smile in the dark too. i long for days when i grab my nape and bite my lip because a super pretty girl is around and making me nervous. days of shorts that expose my pale legs above my knee and v necks that show a little cleavage and taller girls who can look down my shirt. i'll be barefoot 90 percent of the time. i want to keep my room clean and spray it with a summery fragrance. and walk half naked around my house with a cigarette in hand. i'm gonna drink beer at ten in the morning and smoke cigarettes that make silhouettes of women and blow out rings of smoke that i can fit into girls' fingers. i'll be drunk by four and be sober by eight just to get drunk again at eleven and stay drunk until four in the morning. i'm gonna drink and fuck until i can no longer remember certain things. certain faces and certain names. and wake up hungover and sore. and not give a fuck about my hair being a mess. and kiss as many girls as i can and be creepy to them and write about them. and go to all the concerts i can afford. and go to the beach at five in the morning, half drunk, and watch as the sea and its waves soothes all our souls while we wait for sunrise. nights where my brothers and i will jump in our little plastic pool at midnight just because we can. i won't sleep but not because i can't stop thinking, but because i am "dancing and laughing and finally living". i am gonna write about certain people. and laugh about the same and smile and cry some more and cry out of joy at the end. i will taste my tears and they will no longer taste like the sea, but sweet. days when i can finally breathe. it started today.

"move your feet from hot pavement and into the grass." -arcade fire