self-loathing.

i hate myself. for too many fucking reasons, but truth is, i've always hated myself. it's just that right now, i'm enraged. i hate myself so fucking much right now. right now. this moment. i fucking loathe myself. why? because i allowed someone to make me feel the way i felt. for allowing such petty shit to make me want to fucking die. for doing shit to my body over something that now that i think about it, was not worth it. i hate myself for having loved someone who didn't give two shits about me. i hate myself for hating myself because it's no one's fault. maybe not even my own. i hate you aidee, because that feeling will never completely go away. because you are so fucking pathetic. so gullible. for falling for people who don't want you. for allowing that shit to take over your life. for breathing in people who should only be exhaled. for having your life revolve around girls who can't see that you may not be a catch, but you are a good fucking person who only wanted to give them the world. so yeah, fuck you aidee.