not entirely true.

am i completely over it? no. am i almost there? i'm almost almost there. am i happy? no. am i sad? not all the time. truth is, i'm okay. i'm not happy, i'm not sad. i'm okay. i've spent too much time, too much energy, too many tears, too many endless and sleepless nights, too much ink on paper, too much paper, too much saliva, too much everything over something that right now just seems so silly. in a couple of months i'm gonna look back and have a little laugh at my pathetic, little self for spening so much of whatever doing whatever i was doing over a whatever situation i put myself in. it was "i don't want to say not important" but that's what it seems now. it meant the world to me for far too long and meant very little for someone else so it's my turn to really look at shit from another perspective and i am now seeing it from this girl's perspective and calling it a silly situation. i loved. i was not loved back. boohooo. i survived. i was in a pain that i hardly handled and i handled very stupidly, but handled it nonetheless. it was emotional and physical pain because my bones, my body, my heart, my soul, my head, everything hurt. i thought i was gonna die. i didn't. it was nothing. my pain, my heart ache, was over nothing. that's actually the shitty part. that i've spent seven months of my life with someone running non stop in my head, making it their home without their consent and now it's time to kick them out, but they really should have never lived here as long as they did. i should have never allowed it and that's why i'm kicking her out. i was told i looked good. not in a hey girl hey way, but in a "you're not being a fucking a baby anymore" way. i have a feeling it's only good shit from here. i do thank her for the two months when she lived in my head and especially in my heart and i thought i lived in hers too. even if it wasn't real. i will cherish them forever.