that silent sense of content that everyone gets, just disappears soon as the sun sets.

"just let me speak. i feel like i haven't been allowed to say anything for about a year now." i said.
"is that so? because i'm pretty sure you've said all that you've wanted to say." she says with an upset tone in her voice.

and she wasn't completely wrong. i've said many things but it's always either on paper on certain websites. but never to her face. never with my voice. i've never seen her reaction or look on her face. AND i wasn't sure what she did or did not read. i kept trying to say something but she kept interrupting me.

"are you gonna let me speak or not?" i ask.
"go ahead, i'm not covering your mouth, am i? say ALL you need to say but say it quickly, i don't want to be here for much longer." she says, even more upset now.
"ugh. nevermind, this is stupid." i say.
"are you really not gonna tell me now? just tell me." she says.
"i'm not in the mood to convince you, or try to do so. you don't wanna hear what i have to say. you want to leave. i'm done." i say.
"remember when i said you were a frustrating fucking woman?" she says with a VERY frustrating tone on her voice.
i give a little laugh "yes"
"well, i wasn't kidding." she says as she shakes her head.

as much as i loved her, sometimes i had to fight an urge to not grab her by the shoulders and shake her up a bit. just so she would stay quiet for a second. i'm sure she's wanted to punch me in the face multiple times as well.
she sits down and asks me to do so too. she's wearing that black and turquoise dress i like. i don't want to sit next to her. her legs are bare and i won't be able to say what i need to say if her and her legs are too close to me.

"i don't want to sit, stand up."
"no."

i should have known that if i told her to do something she wouldn't.
by the time i sit down she crosses and uncrosses her legs twice. by the time she crossed her legs the second time i had already forgotten why she was here and what it was i needed to say.