i have nothing for you.

we met at her place. it was what it was. she was no longer taken and i was single, just emotionally unavailable. we were kissing on her floral couch. there were empty bottles and cans of cheap booze scattered on the floor, dvds on the coffee table, and her cat's bed next to my feet. the air was toxic and the smoke from the cigarettes made it hard for me to see clearly. the alcohol didn't help my thinking. my hands grazed the inside of her thigh, over her black jeans. her hands taking a strong grasp on my arm. her lips on my chin, on my neck. i grabbed her by the hair and pulled her head back and kissed her hard. almost in an hateful way. she stopped me and asked what it was i wanted more than anything at that moment.
i said her.
i lied.


Death Cab For Cutie- Tiny Vessels


this is the moment that you know
that you told her that you loved her but you don't.
you touch her skin and then you think
that she is beautiful but she don't mean a thing to me.
yeah, she is beautiful but she don't mean a thing to me.

i spent two weeks in silver lake
the california sun cascading down my face
there was a girl with light brown streaks,
and she was beautiful but she didn't mean a thing to me.
yeah, she was beautiful but she didn't mean a thing to me.

i wanted to believe in all the words that i was speaking,
as we moved together in the dark
and all the friends that i was telling
all the playful misspellings
and every bite i gave you left a mark

tiny vessels oozed into your neck
and formed the bruises
that you said you didn't want to fade
but they did, and so did i that day

all i see are dark grey clouds
in the distance moving closer with every hour
so when you ask "is something wrong?"
i think "you're damn right there is but we can't talk about it now.
no, we can't talk about it now."

so one last touch and then you'll go
and we'll pretend that it meant something so much more
but it was vile, and it was cheap
and you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me