if i could have it back...

i walked home today and as i moved one leg in front of the other and let the sun burn my face with its rays i thought of you, as i always do when my mind has a time off from the other bullshit it makes up. i thought about us... and then the thought ended. i hurried home, cramping on each toe that didn't want to cooperate, and began to panic. i quickly opened the front door of my house, the white door, then i went inside and ran to my room. i opened my room and i rummaged through all of my belongings, hoping to find a hint of "us". i looked for hours and hours hoping to find something, anything. even just a piece of paper with your name. i hoped to find some kind of article that said that you and i were an "us" at some time but i failed at finding something. i needed just a trace that when the word "we" was used, it was used for you and me together. i exhausted every ounce of energy and felt defeated when i didn't find anything. i couldn't find a trace of us, because there was never an "us".