cry.

goddamnit, i miss you. i know we didn't have anything and whatever we had was not as important to you as it was for me, but i miss you. and it hurts. i've been doing well on not missing you. anything, not your texts, our conversations, your voice. trying or pretending to miss other people, people that don't hurt anymore, just so i don't miss you but today, right now, this fucking moment, i miss you. just you. i miss going to sleep and thinking of you. dreaming of you. i miss our i love yous. whether they meant shit or not, i miss them. your awkwardness the first time we spoke on the phone. and eventhough i can count the times i've seen you with one hand, i miss you being in my presence. your face, especially your eyes that kill me. i miss you being the only thing on my mind. you having all my attention. ten thousand texts in two months. texting all day, aiming all night. talking to no one but you. loving no one else, just loving you. and i miss having your attention. thinking you were in love with me. i just miss what those two months were. everything about them, even the stupid, senseless arguments we had. i miss it all.